JOLENE

2009-04-06T14:48:00.005+08:00

moved.

i hope i keep it consistent (:
maybe i'll come back one day?
just like i how did it in the past.

maybe..

i'll definitly miss this place.
how many years?
4 years+ ?

my memories, locked in a forbidden faraway land.
unlock, only the happy ones.

2009-03-18T16:15:00.007+08:00

new phase

yes, a new phase of life from now on.
graduating from poly is not something happy, as what we had thought 3 years ago, when we just started out.

bittersweet. love-hate situation.
yes it is exactly how my feelings are. sweet for the fact that school's officially out. bitter for the fact that it'll be a whole new world, life and friendships and relations. ending school is like starting out again. we search high and low for what we want in life.

now we have to make choices.
which schools to apply for, which course to apply for. to take a scholarship or not? to work for a year first or to take up part time jobs while waiting for the uni applications.

no more school, no more cca committments.
we come and go, it's all about passion towards your cca now. you wanna come, you come, you wanna leave, you leave. it's up to you whether to support or not, whether to commmit or not, whether to set a good example to your juniors or not.

-------

i guess at times like this, my thinking is like naive? the things i expect are simple and straightforward. and all i want of the seniors is to, set a good example, give moral support, show our enthusiasm towards this band.

oh well, i should really consider the fact that different people have different perspectives and different people look at things differently. what i expect doesn't mean that people will expect the same things. but the simplest and most basic of all, is to keep your word and not make empty promises.

if you say you will be like this and not follow in the steps of the other, show that you mean your words. i'm utterly disappointed in you. maybe you didn't like what you did last time, but hey, doesn't mean you should build your happiness on top of another's misery right?

you promised, you said that, but you failed.
maybe i didn't know you well enough, or maybe you hid your true thoughts well enough, too well. but this isn't the you i knew. ha, maybe now i'm starting to see things more clearly?

otherwise, give me a good reason.
but i doubt i will get that reason outta your mouth hahahah

ok benefit of doubt, you got talked into it. but where's the good example? oh okay, or maybe it was just once. there won't be any more next time(s).

ok we shall see..

2009-03-07T00:38:00.003+08:00

sometimes when someone tells you something, it doesn't mean that the someone needs help. maybe he/she just needs to tell someone and rant bout it.

ok i'm done. that's it. i'm fine.
but i feel like crying out loud.

i don't feel like working on monday!!!
DAMNIT!

2009-03-02T00:40:00.003+08:00

is it because i was too narrow minded?
i was confident, yea perhaps overly confident this time round.

why can i be so confident at certain things,
but utterly fail at certain aspects in life?

i'm falling into some kind of dark hole again.
there's nothing i ask for, but happy moments.

i'm angry at myself.
why do i let such things overwhelm me?

why are promises meant to be broken?

2009-02-17T01:29:00.004+08:00

after talking to her, i really realise how much it means to me, how much i really miss.

the times we laughed together.
the way i helped u choose the clothes for the game.

can your exams just end quickly and let me get this over and done with? although things may not turn out the way i want, but at least i know, and i will get over it and and, stop wasting my time.

yea i should stop hurting myself and gettting myself into silly trouble.

i ought t say sorry, to myself.
you're one in a million, so am i.

2009-02-10T17:26:00.002+08:00

i'm so pissed that i feel like struggling you and scolding *.
damnit.

i'm losing my cool.
maybe i've put too much hopes on you.
maybe i just feel the same way as the other person does, just that i know i have to give you my support and it's not your fault.

maybe i've put you too high in my life.
maybe you're just too much for me to cope.
maybe i'm just too concerned bout you and everything you do affects me.

maybe i should just change,
maybe i should be more understanding,
maybe i should just put others in front of me all the time,
maybe i should just be selfless all my life,
maybe i should just be there always for friends and be alone for myself.

maybe i should just let loose of everything,
maybe i should just stop being paranoid,
maybe i should just stop assuming,
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STOP EVERYTHING.
stop life.

where are you when i need you the most?
this is getting intolerable.

-------

i realise how much i didn't know myself.
i realise that there's just something that i want badly.

i realise that.. maybe, just maybe.. whatever.
i realise that i'm not as strong as who i think i am.
i realise that, i've been holding it out too long.

the person you see elsewhere but here, is not jolene.

2009-02-03T10:40:00.033+08:00

pictures for thought. (click to enlarge)

2009-02-02T13:59:00.002+08:00

there're many things in life that i have interest in, passion for.
but most of them requires monetary investments.
and sadly, i do not have this capability at the point in life.

times when i will be jealous of others whose family are well off and able to afford the things that i want badly. and there are also times when i hate those kids who do not cherish and take things, and life, for granted.

and times when i will hate financial issues, cos money is the root of all evil.

so tell me, that i can and i will, earn big bucks in future to eliminate financial issues in my life and my family.

and as of now, in order to achieve that, i have t study, score good results, land myself a great job with a good pay.

with that, tell me, how much does university fees cost? tell me and tell me straight. i'm graduating from poly in another month's time or so. i'm gonna apply for university studies.

BUT WHERE WILL THE MONEY COME FROM?!

2009-01-22T10:04:00.002+08:00

Author: Sidney Sheldon [1917 - 2007]

Now available: An anthology of three Sidney Sheldon novels The Dark Side of Midnight.
The Beverly Hills Courier raves "For longtime Sheldon fans, the new volume will set them to wishing he were still with us to write more. For those of us who are just now introduced to him as an author, his works will cost many hours of sleep. Sidney Sheldon's novels are still a 'must read.'"

how true. his books really kept me damn hooked on during those secondary school days. countless days reading non-stop. i just can't keep my hands away from them.

in memory of him.

2009-01-21T00:43:00.001+08:00

when all i really wanted was some peace.
some tranquality in my mind.
but things just keep comings,
thoughts just keep streaming,
voices keep booming,
never-ending troubles.
imissyou A LOT.
but on a happy note,
wahahah wawahhahahah
new found friends and COUSIN.
(:

2009-01-11T03:38:00.005+08:00

somewhere out there.

i just want some peace.

after that day, i really realised it's that much.

i shouldn't have said the wrong things, at the wrong time.

i wished you cared more. i love you more each day :/

i just want you to know.

2009-01-08T01:19:00.001+08:00

为什么?
我只不过想让你知道.
现在我担忧.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2009-01-06T09:44:00.001+08:00

the first time in 3 years.
my eyes hurt now.
i cried myself to sleep
what a start to the 2nd week of new year.
do you care?
i just wanted you to know..

2009-01-04T18:50:00.000+08:00

it's 2009.
i wonder how long i can hold it out.
iloveyou

2008-12-31T11:34:00.003+08:00

... continued

today marks the last day of year 2008.

time flew by like nobody's business. looking through facebook, seeing that another batch of people from SBM has alr flown to France for Overseas Exchange Program, it really reminded me of that particular day when the closest bunch of us sent eliz and sandy off to Orlando. time flew by so fast that now, six months have already passed and they're alr back for 4 months. in another 2 months' time, we'll all be out of school, finishing our attachment and exams.

amazing how fast year 2008 passed.
the tough times we had during those hectic project periods, completeing even more projects in an even shorter period of time. ain't we proud of ourselves?

mid of year 2008 was definitely a tough time for the band comm. preparing for the Vienna trip, juggling studies, projects, exams, FYP and attachment all at the same time. without each other, we wouldn't have pulled through.

the sweet aroma of victory, never gotten to us easily. truly treasure the time spent and the effort everyone put in. the scarifices, criticism, perspiration, laughter, joy, scoldings, encouragements and what not.

in every year, there bound to be 'Hello's and 'Goodbye's, any sort of welcoming and departures.

at the end of 2007, when 2008 was arriving, we said bye to our beloved Laoshi and welcomed Mr Leonard Tan with open arms. Laoshi retired from the band scene to enjoy his fruits of labour and we learnt much under Mr Tan, bringing ourselves to another level.

now, at the end of 2008, when 2009 is arriving, we waved goodbye to Mr Tan and welcomed Dr Zech Goh into our midst. Mr Tan left us to further his studies, in order to be a greater asset to the society, the band scene. we wished Mr Tan all the best for his next 4 years of studies, and he too, wished us good luck for 2009's Sinfonia and WMC.

that were all temporary departures. cause we'll still be able to meet up with Laoshi, and 4 years later, Mr Tan will be back in Singapore.

how about permanent departures?
the heart aches, screams and tears.
it leaves an even more emptier space that no one else can fill up.

this 2008. there were many deaths all around Singapore and the whole world. earthquakes, tornados, cylones, many many accidents, terminal illness and so on. beginning of the year, throughout the year, at the end of the year.

the hardest goodbye is not having a chance to say goodbye, not having a chance to see your friend for the very last time. the cheekiest boy in class.

my sec.school pw group, reduced from 4 members to only 2 members. leaving us 3 years ago and this year. my friend mentioned, is our class cursed? maybe i should ask, is my group cursed? why such coincidents? why take them away from us, from their loved ones?

but like what others would say, life goes on, my friend. we've just gotta be stronger. and we'll grow in the midst of their absence.

and, i think, that marks the end of 2008.
not a very high end. but a fruitful year i would say. all in all, i wouldn't complain that 2008 was a dread. instead, i've learnt and gained much this year. especially being closer to you again.

we learnt, we'll go on learning.
and one thing will always remain constant, CHANGE. i hope 2009 will be better, much better and things between us will grow better, closer, and who knows? my wish and prayers may jsut come true.
stay strong little ones.
let's embrace the arrival of 2009 with hope & faith in our hearts.
(:

2008-12-30T14:13:00.004+08:00

my fave

no way can a movie beat a novel.
novel wins movie HANDS DOWN!

reading a book is much better than watching the movie version of the story. not only do you get to know the exact details of the character's feeling, you engaged yourself into the story by using your imagination to form the vision of what the scene might or will look like. it's really very engaging and, with good vocabulary used, one can get so hooked onto the story!

-------

putting that aside, i've been thinking back to this past year. today is alr the 30th of dec 2008. in another day's time, we'll be stepping into a new year..

many things happened in 2008, globally, nationwide, and of course personally. no doubt, everyone learnt much in this year (i hope).

unpredictable events like natural disasters, economic crisis, and death. friendships forged. fights, quarrels and enemies forgiven and forgotten. bad and good memories engraved in our mind and hearts.

many many many things.

i'm glad that some things have come back to me. things that i've thought i will never gain back again. although it may have brought trouble to me, it definitely did bring back happiness, fun and satisfaction back to me as well.

through this year, i've really learnt much. to be independent but yet dependent. learning to be more tolerant and be able to ignore things that will affect me for nothing.

to be continued...

2008-12-29T00:04:00.002+08:00

life's unpredictable.

i didn't manage to pray for you.
i didn't manage to ever say bye to you.

rest in peace, my friend.
you'll be remembered forever..

2008-12-26T02:03:00.001+08:00

my carebear has a friend! :D

SO CUTE! :D

thanks au-au-au-auyongggggggg :D

2008-12-24T15:42:00.002+08:00

CHRISTMAS!

last night's addition to the family! :D

current family size!

THANKS TIMOTHY KWA! heh :D

2008-12-23T15:28:00.007+08:00

christmas is here!

gift giving and gift receiving!
the best gift is the care bear i received! HAHAHA :D

this's my current care bear family at home..

an additional member to the carebear family! :D

mehhhhh thanks benson! though you won't see this. and thanks FAZA! for the book you gave me! LOVE IT! :D

this christmas, i really felt the joy in giving, giving and giving. it's really a great feeling. and as long as i'm financially able, i'll give to my family and friends! (:

the contentment you feel when you see the smiles on people's faces. and if you see them using/loving the gifts, it's pure joy (:

i'm happy you like the gift i got you (:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2008-12-16T23:12:00.003+08:00

christmas wishlist :D
hahahahahahahahah

BOOKS! (:
- The Wednesday Letters [byJason F. Wright]
- Change of Heart [by Jodi Picoult]
- Waiter's Rant; behind the scenes of eating out [by John Murray]

ok and many more books yet to be discovered (:

MISC..
- External harddisk. i badly need it.
- CAREBEARS! i want the remaining 8 bears.

christmas is coming! it's the season!
HOLIDAYYYYYYYYYYYY! :D

2008-12-15T23:55:00.001+08:00

今天放工后, 心情很糟糕, 感觉很失落.

好想痛快地哭一场.

2008-12-14T15:19:00.007+08:00

in life, one cannot ask for much.
give and take.
but sometimes, you have to give more than receiving.

现在的我不要求多, 只希望你知道.

-------

life is short.

nothing's forever.

people come and people go.

our families once hang out tgt often.

but ever since we moved, we saw each other lesser and lesser.

many years have past.

and after these years, we'll finally meet again.

on the day of your final walk in this life.

the cheerful uncle we've known,

the strong one we've seen.

i never expected it like this.

goodbye

2008-12-12T09:12:00.001+08:00

mr tan, an inspiring man, an inspiring conductor.

what are we gonna expect for pract tmr?
mr tan? the new conductor?
tomorrow remains a mystery.

damn, i'm gonna miss the man.

2008-12-10T21:16:00.002+08:00

i've just gotta be strong.

in life, change is inevitable,
everything is ever-changing.

climate changes.
technology changes.
politics change.
academic content changes.
people change.
characters change.

we've just gotta embrace ourselves, be ever-ready, for all these changes.

i've just gotta be strong, and make a wise decision that i will not regret.

2008-11-28T21:03:00.002+08:00

人往往向开不了的门冲, 且永远地忽略一扇永远为他而开的门. 我想我再也没有什么期待了吧. 因为一但有了期待, 就会有失望.

i'm tired alr. i just wanna be myself. i just wanna care for myself. i feel like shutting up forever. isolation haa i don't give a damn anymore.

-------

things are turning. my life is changing. it's tiring me, trying to be strong, trying to be... strong. i'm losing strength.

i just need a shoulder to lean on.

2008-11-26T11:22:00.003+08:00

everything is about you, her, you, her, you, her.
so why bother in the first place?

sometimes i just wish i can get both of you outta my life.

2008-11-17T13:28:00.009+08:00

A North Korean Army soldier watches the South Korean side at the border village of Panmunjom, South Korea. North Korea's intransigence over verification of its nuclear program is likely aimed at extracting more aid from the countries seeking to disarm the Stalinist state, South Korean Foreign Minister Yu Myung-hwan said. (AP Photo/Ahn Young-joon)

how sad, when one korea, becomes two; north & south.

A little girl waits for Islamic prayers to start near the house from where Israeli police had evicted a Palestinian family in an east Jerusalem neighborhood. A court has ruled that the home belongs to a Jewish family. The eviction order was handed down despite protests by the United States and human rights groups. (AP Photo/Tara Todras-Whitehill)

i don't quite get what it's trying to depict, but i love the girl's rosy cheeks.

Motherless orphans and lost children rest at the Don Bosco Ngangi center in Goma, eastern Congo. Fighting in Congo intensified in August and has since displaced at least 250,000 people despite the presence of the largest U.N. peacekeeping force in the world. U.N. officials say both the rebels and government troops have committed crimes against civilians.(AP Photo/Jerome Delay)

definitely a sad scene.

A woman visits the Berlin Wall Memorial at Bernauer Strasse in Berlin. As it was the 19th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall people put flowers in the cracks of the wall to commemorate the victims. (AP Photo/Franka Bruns)

Horses are silhouetted against the rising sun as they stand on a meadow near Dresden, eastern Germany. (AP Photo/Matthias Rietschel)

nice picture (:

Peter Eastgate of Denmark poses with a pile of cash after winning the World Series of Poker championship in Las Vegas. Eastgate won more than $9 million. (AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)

WAH I WANNA BE HIM!
MILLIONAIRE! lol
:D

disclaimer: pictures were taken from MSN.com.sg, news section (pictures in news)

-------

random i know (:

2008-11-16T18:38:00.002+08:00

after telling you 'no', i read the blog and i realise, shld we really leave them in the lurch? ahhhhh dilemma! commitments, will we be able to cope!?

i really feel bad leaving them in the lurch, but there's nothing much i can do! choosing one between two, so difficult!

HELP!

other things? i don't wanna care anymore. if they call, they called. if they didn't call, then we'll just have a gathering luh! aiya, heck!

i'm in a spending mood td. haha

2008-11-15T23:54:00.001+08:00

I HATE YOU!

ARGH!

2008-11-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Post #800

td's train ride home was longgggggggggggg.

i just slept throughout.

was browsing through fb just now and i went into my pri sch's fb acct and decided t click on my pri sch's website URL. i looked through the web and saw the teachers' names. some familiar names still there, like mr. hassan, ms rosemarie wong..

most of them are unfamiliar names though.

and i realise how much i miss peiying!
the music room, the AVA rooms, the fish ponds, the canteens, the carparks assembly, the porch where we play during recesss and gather aft that, the classrooms, etc!

and i'm proud t say that my batch was one of the pioneer batches t try out the rock climbing tower in sch when it first got built.

alright, time for sleep.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TRICIA AU-AU-AU-AU-AU-AU-AU-YONGGGGG :D

2008-11-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

i wanna go back to school.
like totally badly ):

2008-11-07T02:05:00.004+08:00

i feel like blogging.
but i don't know what t say.

time just whhheeeeze passt us very quickly,
just when we needed time the most.

everyday, 24 hours, just 'POOF' and disappears.
someone teach me better time management please.
when there's attachment, and many other stuff you wish t do.

ahhhhh i need 72 hours a day now! lol
8 hours at work.
37 hours at play.
12 hours of sleep.
15 hours with family.
7 hours of band.

ok i'm talking nonsense HAHAHAHAHA

I MISS MY FRIENDS LUHHHHHHHHH!

just like td, i haven't seen maysichan for so long luh! then supposed to take photo with her td, BUT! got work yet t finish so, need t finish off by td. check the show directory. gawk. no choice luh, cause URGENT URGENT work need t help complete :/

MY FRIENDSSSSSSSSSS!!!

2008-11-02T16:14:00.003+08:00

感触好多

好多的不舍..
每当我想到四个月后会发生的事, 我就有很多很多的不舍.

想到将来不知道未来会如何.
不知道未来还会不会和莫些人再见面.
不知道未来会往哪一条路道迈向.

这三年, 说长不长, 说短不短.
天下无不散之宴席.
好朋友, 好搭党, 好老师.
一切一切, 会变成灰吗?
会变成记忆而已吗?

最舍不得的..

-------

我很好奇, 当处你的想法是什么? 怎样说放弃就放弃, 说走就走? 你好勇敢地面对一切的伤心与心痛. 经过了以前所发生的事, 我不知道我还有没有像以前的勇感与勇气..

我害怕这一次我不会和往常一样. 这一次如果再跌, 恐怕我不能再站起来了. 但我常有一个, 会跌的感觉. 三年前发生的事, 我永远不会忘记; 但我好希望一切没有发生过.

为什么我就不能走出以前所发生的一切?!

我好想从新在来过一次.
不必回到三年前.
就从新地过今年, 我就会心满意足吧.

嗨

2008-11-02T15:51:00.003+08:00

i'm staring at my laptop, procrastinating.
too much in my mind,
i don't know where t start.

teach me how t get rid of everything.
i just wanna be happy again.

-------

christmas is coming, in another 1 month and 23 days time. what will it be like this christmas?
my birthday is in 22days time, i wanna spend it with you.

2008-11-02T00:10:00.002+08:00

我真的搞不懂你在想什么.
我已经开始不喜欢一些人了.

我怕到最后我会很恨你...

怎么办?

2008-10-28T00:38:00.004+08:00

i read their blogs. i don't know what to do anymore. is it me or is it them?

when you realise that maybe they have given up on you. or when you realise that maybe it's just you who can't open up your thoughts and feelings to them..

guess what?
i think i've lost myself
i don't know what to do anymore

the tears well up

2008-10-27T21:40:00.002+08:00

whatever you hear from someone may not be true. but if you have seen it for yourself, how untrue can it get? i thought you will be different from what i see now, i never knew you will be like this.

what, a good example?
what, so all this is nothing but a game to see who wins and who loses?

so this is how you treat matters?
i'm utterly shocked at your behavior.

2008-10-22T01:40:00.002+08:00

food for thought

when you realise that a string of thoughts cannot be easily transformed into a string of words.

i have long realised the fact that sms/msn is not the best way to communicate and resolve situations. but time and again, i didn't dare t face up t certain people. sometimes, it works between me and others, using msn t resolve matters. and just recently, i realised that even though you may think that that certain someone is a good person, a person who will understand, but i forgot the fact that msn is tonelessssss. matters will just remain hanging in the air, unresolved.

ahhhhhh, oh well.
as we grow up, we learn. as the days and years pass, we mature. but not everyone's progress is the same. we just have t give and take, forgive and forget.

as we grow up, we get a clearer view and picture of this world, and what we really wanna achieve while we're still alive. but that's not enough. thinking and having a vision is not enough. as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. how can we expect visions t come true without hardwork put in?

however, sadly, people start t waver in their dreams, passion and visions when they meet obstacles, set backs, etc. well, we can't blame them or anyone, for all they need is just a little encouragement and support, same goes for us.

so why stop encouraging them?
so why do you not care?
i wonder..

2008-10-21T01:53:00.002+08:00

days are passing by.
we have yet to know,
how much grievence we will experience when the day comes.

10th nov, don't ever come.
he has been the best conductor we've ever wished for.

sadly,
the time for us to part will come soon.

2008-10-20T00:33:00.004+08:00

很多时候, 我很想回到以前, 很想逆转时间.
很想回到三年前, 三年前的我和你.
但, 我知道这永远是不可能的.
有一些话, 我很想说.
有一些人, 我很想再见一次.
但, 在我不愿之下,
我一切都做不到.

如果我过的生活和现在的不一样,
如果后果是我想要的那种,
如果, 如果, 如果...

我好希望...
我只不过想一切...
我只不过想要...
有那么困难吗?

sigh

2008-10-19T23:51:00.000+08:00

十句值得深思的话
第一句：没有一百分的另一半，只有五十分的两个人。
第二句：付出真心才会得到真心，却也可能伤到彻底，保持距离就能保护自己，却也注定永远寂寞。
第三句：通常原意留下来跟你争吵的人才是真正爱惜你的人。
第四句：有时候不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看得太重。
第五句：冷漠，有时候并不是无情，只是一种避免被伤害的工具。
第六句：如果我们之前有1000步的距离，你只要跨出第一步，我就会朝你的方向走其余的999步。
第七句：为你的难过而快乐的是敌人，为你的快乐而快乐的是朋友，为你的难过而难过的是那些该放进心里的人。
第八句：就算是beLIEve中间也藏了一个LIE。
第九句：真正的好朋友并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题，而是在一起，就算不说话也不会感到很尴尬而快乐的感觉。
第十句：朋友，就是被你看透了还能被你喜欢和被你接受的人才算是“好朋友”。

2008-10-17T00:06:00.003+08:00

why must i always be the one listening to other people's woes?
why must i always be the one bearing the rubbish words?
why must i always be the one thinking for others first?

why must i always be the one suffering just cos i followed the decision made from the heart and not the mind?

thanks for the rubbish i'm going through, selfish people.

2008-10-11T00:59:00.002+08:00

random reads, random thoughts

i was reading through some stranger's blog until i reached the date 1st October, Happy Children's Day. and i realised, how much i wanted t be a kid again. rmb the times as kids, when we so wanna grow up quickly. and now, as young adults, some of us so wanna go back to our childhood days. how ironic.

humans. ironic creatures.

during the school term, many or ALL of us wished it were the holidays. but during the holidays, some of us hoped for school t start asap.

as for me, i'm ironic too.
when i was working part time during the school hols, i never wished for school t reopen asap. i always loved the idea of no exams, no lecture notes, just work and money HAHA (financially tight t enjoy things you see.)

now, when i'm having my internship, i wished that i'm back in school studying again!

yeah how ironic.

-------

i guess i'm not really someone who can put down the past easily.

2008-10-04T03:09:00.004+08:00

ohmygosh

right after we got home, jiayun started uploading and tagging the photos on Facebook. and damn! we seem to be having a commenting competition!!! LOL

click on the image to get a larger, clearer view.

that's not the end to all the comments on the photos okayyyy. there's still lots more and this print screen shot was taken only when we were halfway through the "competition" HAHA look at the time intervals! *faints*

my msn alert kept popping out, telling me that i've received an email from Facebook. many times! and when i went t my inbox, HAHAHAHAH i seeeee like 10 or more emails saying "____________ commented on your photo."

hur hurrr

damn funny (:

2008-10-03T00:44:00.002+08:00

i guess i'm not used to changes. i wish time will just stall.

words within me that i can't describe. living life like how people think it will be. no time to stop, but constantly on the move. people come and go, things happen and disappear, time just keeps going, it doesn't stop for you.

life and death, separated only by a fine line.
happiness and sorrow, separated thinly.
a smile and a frown, separated by a muscle.
sigh

2008-09-28T20:17:00.003+08:00

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to youuuuu

happy birthday to you

when i realise that i may see you again some time in dec, i don't know how to react. happy? guess i'll just feel weird.

hope you've enjoyed yourself td. i know you will.
i just wonder, how are you?

2008-09-21T19:46:00.002+08:00

好, 家里的一切就由我来扛吧. 你去玩你的吧.
错都在于我. 你们永远是对的.

a sunday spent in the most unideal way. coming back t an almost empty home. rushing back, just t see them nowhere. what more can i say. everything that's wrong, it's my fault. yea i'm always not at home. but where were you when i am at home? so many things t share, but yet no ears t listen. so many 'i wish' but everyone's occupied in their own world. i blame myself for not spending enough time with you guys. i blame myself for poor time management. but no matter how hard i try, things never seem t go right.

i wanna run,
away from here.

2008-09-13T23:19:00.002+08:00

as the days pass,

things seem t take a turn for the worse.
maybe i'm too sensitive?

haha i hope so.

HECK AHHHH, but sigh, every time i say i can't be bothered, i don't seem t be able t not bother bout it! well, welll, i don't know!

uh uh uh, i don't know what else t say.

2008-09-11T22:29:00.002+08:00

blinded by bitches.
argh, i can't be bothered t care more.
whatever i say fall on deaf ears so why bother continuing?

sigh, change is inevitable.
time and time again, life proves itself.

maybe it's time t look at things from another angle.

-------

on a happier note,

THANK GOD TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!

now i can really unds how my sister felt all these while hahha

monday
tuesday
wednesday
thursday

friday friday friday friday
friday friday friday friday
friday friday friday friday
friday friday friday friday
:DDD

2008-09-07T21:29:00.003+08:00

monday blues?

one week of IPP has ended and my weekend's coming to an end soon too.

working is.. a time for me to really realise the true hard facts about the working world. though i know that some things are never as simple and innocent as it seems to be, but experiencing it is different from just knowing about it.

honestly, i really feel like going back to school. yeah school maybe boring, but not as much as work is i guess. routine hours at work, flexible and definitely shorter hours in school.

haha but well, at least now i don't have to worry bout exams, ICAs, tutorials, projects, etc.

i just need ample time to relax, rest and enjoy haha

-------

i see my msn tab keep popping up and i saw my cousin coming online.

heh for some random and sudden reason, i'm missing my cousins' place in malaysia and of cos, them. ever since that incident that happened way back when i was primary 4, we didn't dare t drive into malaysia again.

so, ever since, i've never went t their place in malaysia.. only during times when, sigh, my great-grandma and my granddad passed away.

事事难了. there's always a reaction to an action.

things always happen so unexpectedly, in ways we can never have imagined. i wanna go back to malaysia, go back to the house we used to have fun in.

but, things will never be the same alr. 3 of them but, 2 of them are alr in australia, leading their own lives, working and all.

well, as we grow up, things change,
and you realise that,
change is the only constant in this world.

2008-08-28T01:08:00.001+08:00

suddenly i feel a sense of lost-ness.
and no, i'm suddenly not excited about IPP.

i totally don't know what went wrong.

excite me, please.

2008-08-27T00:33:00.008+08:00

bring me to a faraway place
long post ahead..

yes, please, bring me to a faraway place. PLEASE.

i just wanna enjoy myself. but i guess my parents think that they freaking gave birth to a freaking robot, which will only study, and try its best t score good results, and a robot which will only WORK its metal off t earn money.

i'm trying very hard t please you, what more you want? can i have my own life back? i don't wanna spend my life thinking how can i enjoy myself better okayyy?

thanks.

-------

sometimes i find myself living in a fantasy world, a world of my own, dreaming BIG dreams that can never come true. and stop telling me t believe in God for these dreams, cos i know it's freaking impossible cause this dreams MUST start from young. i'm too old for it already.

dreams, dreams, dream.

i know some of you will say, then DON'T DREAM these dreams. you think i want ah?! THAT'S the bitterness of life.

really loh, BLOGGER IS FREAKING NOT LETTING ME 'ENTER' IN MY ENTRIES THE WAY I WANT IT!!!

2008-08-26T00:36:00.006+08:00

Stardust

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

yeah random. now i don't know what time t sleep :/

and blogger is being weird this few days. they don't let me 'enter' in my entries the way i want it! humphh, bummer.

2008-08-25T23:38:00.007+08:00

HAPPY GIRL! :D

yes, i'm a happy girl td! had my favourite food for lunch, bought my long time childhood favourite 'toy' LOL

tadahhhhhhhhhhh

it's hard t find it ard singapore nowadays you know! haha everytime i go back t khatib for prawn noodles, i will definitely go back and buy that 'toy' lol.

NOT ONLY THAT!

i went down to Raffles City to the 'Welcome back Team Singapore' event in the evening! whooooooooooo.

saw feng tian wei, li jia wei, wang yuegu. hahah touched feng's hand! :DD
damn high!

thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, who knows!
i thought i won't get t see bryan tay. but yeah, WHO KNOWS! i saw him when we were going down the escalator. God's gift for me HAHAHA then rah said, go back go back! go back and take photo with him! lol cause we saw someone taking photo with him.

and yeah! we went back t take photos with him HAHA

i'm a happy girl!
i'm a happy girl!
i'm a happy girl!
i'm a happy girl!
i'm a happy girl!
:DDD

2008-08-24T03:55:00.004+08:00

time has past and gone.

very quickly, our exams are over. the academic semester of year 3 2008/2009 is over. soon, 6 months will fly pass and we're officially the pioneer batch of hospitality students t grad from NYP.

how cool. no?

many thoughts still running in my head. i don't know how to pen them down at all. too many to organise.

now that exams are over, we've got one week t rest before we go for our attachment. sadly, we haven't know where we'll be going yet. well, basically, there was some problems here and there.

thou shall not comment.

--------

different people have different opinions, different way of seeing things and life. we meet many people through our daily lives, and very much discover more about our friends, each day we spend time together. good, bad, we can't judge them, but we can accept them for who they are.

days and years pass in our lives. many would have grown and matured, i believe. while there are some others who are haunted by their past or just can't move on in certain areas of life, be it friends, past relationships, school work, nonsensical stuff or even stuff that are plain stupid.

i've realised that, i, for once, am tired of searching for some things. i will put in my effort, but it takes two hands t clap. well, i got nothing much t say.

-------

discipline. independence.

what can i say? i've really learnt a lot from this short 6 months. as my friends and i have discussed when we looked back, things really changed. we end up spending the last months of our academic semester with people whom we never would have thought will end up spending with.

we were always in our own comfort zone and circle of friends since year 1. come year 2, we still had the same friends with us in class. who knows, that opportunities got the whole of them. learning to be independent, we all separated and i believed we all learnt a lot. well, at least i can say that i DID learn a lot (:

hey girls, i don't know who will be reading this, (maybe germ, rah.. heh) but, thanks for everything in these past 6 months.. i always thought i knew how t prioritize, but now i know even better how to. even better, i've learnt to be more confident of my proj grp mates and myself (:

ermmm, maybe it's a bit too late bout the proj grp mate part, but still haha it will apply to the working society i guess..

woah, at the blink of the eye, it's really years flying past. seriously, time and tide waits for no man, therefore, we all think that we do not have enough time HAHA

game time, drama-shows time, sleep time!

p.s. i think i am being quite random in this post! lol

2008-08-14T02:03:00.002+08:00

urps

i suddenly realise that, i have a lot of thoughts within me. i'm trying hard t fight them away. urps HAHA ya, fight them away.

HOW TO?!

omg faint.

exams are coming. i'm still stuck on my last report. constantly looking over t MSN, watching dramas. FOR WHAT?!

uhhhhhhh, i'm not a sparetyre horrrrr. just so nice i was still awake. THANKS UHHHHH

go find your sweetheart -.-

2008-08-12T23:29:00.003+08:00

the ugly side

we were the officals for the Flag @ Padang event on National Day 2008. and we literally saw the ugly side of Singaporeans. tsk, cheapskates.

bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
reports. my last report, maybe for the rest of my life :/

jy!

-------

empty on the inside, but thank God for great friends (:

2008-07-30T03:39:00.004+08:00

i know lah, i know lah,
i'm just the shit cleaner mah.
i'm the toilet paper mah.

shit work let me do.
do alr no 'thank you's.
nvm it's ok. give me all this for what?

stop sending the emails lah.
stop calling me lah.
you think i like it ah?

ungrateful people.
once help is given, you close your eyes.
when you need help, you look for the sai kang king.
finish alr, you just slap your buttocks and say goodbye.

you think what?
i'm your slave ah?
IN YOUR NEXT LIFETIME LAAAA.

whatever okay?
I AM DAMN FREAKING PISSED OFFFFFF!!
scarifice so much for what?
do so many things for what?

i'm already keeping my cool ok?
if i don't know anything about it THEN DON'T FREAKING SEND ME EMAILS CAN?!

go find other substitutes can?
you think i'm the best choice so?
YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK OTHERWISE!

ACTIONS SPEAK BLOODY LOUDER THAN WORDS.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU GONNA SAY NEXT.
EVERYONE HAS A TEMPER.
EVERYONE HAS A LIMIT.
SO SHUT UP!

JUST LET ME GET THOSE FREAKING WORDS OUT!

BUT FREAKING AMAZINGLY I STILL FEEL THE SAME AFTER TYPING ALL THIS. SO CAN YOU FREAKING IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF HURT YOU HURLED AT ME?!

to think i trust that you trusted me.
FINE! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

YOU BETTER FREAKING STOP PUSHING ME AROUND AND START WORKING YOUR ASS OFF FOR SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE DOING FOR!

seriously lah, you've changed okay.
i don't know what the hell happened, cos you changed FOR THE WORSE. so WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!

sigh, i can't control your life. you shall see for yourself what you have done.

maybe i'll leave and not come back. at least things will change? for the better or worse? i don't know. but i guess my presence doesn't make much of an impact since it seems like i'm not needed? aiya it's ok lah, you got so many people to help you. or maybe 'help' you lah.

you will see at the end of the day, who are the real ones who will stand by you.

2008-07-28T23:47:00.001+08:00

shouldn't have

how i wish i don't have to come back t singapore. HA

trying to be strong when i am not.
lifeless
emotionless

2008-07-27T03:53:00.002+08:00

vienna videos

taking a long break from projs from just nw till now, i decided to watch the videos charlene sent me. orchestra performance at musikverin.

DAMN, i'm damn proud to say that we really worked hard for this trip man, esp the strings.

THEIR BOWINGS!
sweeeeeeeeeeeet!
so together!

i totally love the last past of underworld. when the strings' bowings were damn vigorous LOL but damn together! LOL

i can't help but keep re-watching it lol

i'm missing viennnnnna :D

2008-07-25T23:56:00.002+08:00

lies?

sometimes you realise what you hear may not be the truth.

disappointed. i really don't know how to react :/
stressed? stressed? stressed? bahhhhhhhhh

I'M CRAVING FOR LAKSA NOW!
:D

just let me be. i know i'm packed with many tasks, but i just wanna enjoy lifewithyou
a secret that mustn't be let out.

2008-07-25T04:33:00.003+08:00

ENTRE PROJ SUCKS! BIG TIME!

omg la! it's like alr 4.34AM in the morning, YES MORNING! WHAT THE CRAP and i just completed the website from where my dear friend left off.

grrrrrrrrrrr entre like totally suck big time? so many projs to do!!
):

i wanna cry cry cry alr!
):

MUMMMMYYYYYYY
another 6 more hours and i need to be off to school alr ):

i think i can only sleep 3 or 4 hours td, again ):

my post is filled with ):
and ):
and ):
and ):
forever ):

lemme countdown ):
.friday, 250708, entre presentation
.monday, 280708, MCE presentation
.friday, 010808, ROM presentation
.friday, 010808, NAFA test [WTH]
.monday, 040808, HHO presentation
.saturday, 090808, SEFM hands-on assignment

.monday, 180808, MCE semestral exam
.wednesday, 200808, HHO semestral exam
.thursday, 210808, ROM semestral exam

I SO WANNA SLEEP CAN?! I SO WANNA PLAY AND REST AND RELAX CAN?! my friend's msn nick is 'wake me up when AUGUST ends.' SO TRUE!

BYE )):
script time

p.s. staring at the laptop screen for such long hours has made my eyes teary and tired. now my laptop has been like running for hours and i pray it won't start burning soon! if it burns, I'LL BURN THE WHOLE SCHOOL DOWN! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2008-07-22T02:18:00.001+08:00

memories

wehhhhhhhhhh you have to bring home a different girl every year during your birthday is it? zzz i don't know what else t say :/

2008-07-20T18:03:00.005+08:00

random post

oh welllllllllllllllllllllll, i hope that year 3 academic year will end well and end sooon! as for now, we still have an overload of projects. it doesn't seem to reduce! goodness, i haven't finish my parts ):

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i don't know why, but suddenly after the trip, i felt a sense of.. calmness, a sense.. of purity! till td, after making so many detours, i still managed to kept to my promise to God, although, yeah detours :/

heeee everything just disappeared from my mind, my brain. and all the matters that i'm focused now is school work, band and how to manage my time to make myself free-er LOL

i'm glad! I'M REALLY GLAD! :D
and i think i'm hooked back onto blogging. guess it was livejournal that turned me off from blogging? hhahah anw i don't know why shutterfly can't seem to be able to upload my photos!!! zzz

-------
oh ya, i've got a piece of shocking news!

my PRIMARY school friend is getting ENGAGED! like goodness!

my mum told me about it cause she heard from my other classmate's mum. and i was like damn shocked! i thought my mum was kidding you know. she wasn't shocked at allllll! but okay la, one thing is cause the guy is about 5 years older than her i think.

but omg shocking!

hahahah back to projs. dinner out soooooooon! :DD
BYE

2008-07-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

Summa Cum Laude International Youth Music Festival, Vienna

yupp, this post is dedicated to the trip!

but let me digress a little first :D

went for cellgrp meeting and pohchoo's water baptism td (saturday)! and i really felt whoooooooooooo! so loved by God! heh i miss church!

wellowship was only with 5 people, including myself, so we went somewhere comfortable and centralised. din tai fung @ raffles city! haha it was a hearty meal and, yeah i enjoyed wellowship

:D

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wehhhhh, i haven't update on vienna trip. i'm kinda lazy t do so actually. well, all in all, i enjoyed myself, though when we were at vienna, we didn't had time to shop cos of the competition and celebration rehearsals. lucky we had time in saluzburg!

alright, i guess i've finally decided to post up everything at one go LOL initially i wanted to post a few pics only, but why not just do everything?! lol

past few days i was too lazy to do so, that's why this post came a little overdue LOL *caution: highly overloaded with pictures! read the words toooooo laaaa! :D

btw, captions are all under the photos so, don't get the wrong captions for the wrong photos!

NYPSO at Singapore Changi Airport, waiting to depart! we were trying to take a proper group photo haha

efore we board the plane. at the "tunnel" to the plane

on the flight t London!!!

at the london airport, T3, after touchdown.

the london airport staff didn't let us take photos of the airport, but i guess, we still secretly took some! LOL

whoooooo, part of the band with edelwise!

while waiting for our turn to check through the transit "customs".

at the transit area! flutes plus oboes!

while waiting for the airport to "flash" our gate number at the screen. bahhhhhhhhh they took just a long time to show and open the gate!

cute toddler we met at the transit area

FINALLY! we reached vienna! and yupp! we got down the plane by that staircase. haha first time in my life! i guess it's because the airport ain't big? or maybe because it's alr late at night?

this is our room for one night at the Euro Hotel. yupp short isn't it? apparently we were told that it's the vienna airport hotel but it was still quite a distance fr the airport LOL. the next day we moved to another hotel, called Academia Hotel, which was quite eeeeeerie :/

strange things happened when we were staying at Academia Hotel. brrrrrrr the thought of it, makes me don't wanna think about it HAHAA i preferred the first hotel to the second one!

before we went down for breakfast. i kinda love my hair that day LOL

my first breakfast at vienna! we had the same kind of breakfast for the next 6 to 7 days -.-

a horse carriage! yeah, they still use this kinda transport device! but it was more of a tourist attraction cos i heard it's quite expensive. but oh well, it made the whole street stink of horse dung! OMG!

wahahahahah some random signage. i actually stole this from cheryl! :/

rehearsal for competition! at the University of Music! the strings had no rehearsals that day, so they got to have free time to walk around while we rehearsed hard!!! ):

another rehearsal pic

buildings outside the university

buildings outside the university

gay partners at work! lol it was lunch break for the band, our first lunch in vienna.

Musikverien in the day!

random building

some kind of transport. looks like a monorail lol

another transport. i think this is more like a tourist thingy, like singapore's ducktour, hippotour kinda stuff i guess..

at the festival's opening ceremony! everyone was tired, some were dozing off :/

if i'm not wrong, this is called the St Stephen's Cathedral.

dinner time! our first dinner in vienna. lol some asian restaurant set up by a family from china. ehhhhh the food kinda suck. some chicken were not fully cooked, we could see the blood :/

and the rice was...... overcooked. got chao ta smell
-.-

flute section! before the competition. whoooooo NERVOUS

eugene low and i, after the competition, while waiting for others to load their instruments to the truck.. LOLOLOL

after the competition, back at the university of music, while waiting for our workshop to start.

flute section w mr leonard tan!

eh han, not young anymore hor, don't make fun of me!

uncle han (:

heh! *inside joke

NYPWO!

since they like to label themselves as nypwo :/

that's us while waiting for the next music lecturer to come in.

random building

random building. ain't their architecture B-E-A-UTIFUL?!

hahah! spot me! if you can!

wehhhhhh handsome waiter! we were having our lunch in some restaurant after our orchestra rehearsal. yeah, that's how busy we are. NO TIME TO SHOP IN VIENNA!!!!

and we thought the trombone pang-seh us for lunch so we went without them. when we return then they ask where we go! lol they were waiting for us initially!

that's alvin and me!

and this's benny and me!
waiting toooo long for our food, we got bored.

next stop! some fellow's castle lol! it was an attraction and we were on some kind of a city tour. i can't rmb whose castle is it lol but mozart visited the place before!

sar and me. i kinda like this pic. abstract! lol

jump! yeah, my dear jiahui said i looked squashed between the guys. like wanna fly but can't fly! haha

next up: some jump shots! looks very sequential lol

jump 1

jump 2

jump 3

jump 4

jump 5

finally we managed to jump! and mr tan wasn't jumping at all -.- yeah, i'm short lol!

jump 6

jump 7

amelia and me (:

nice scenary huh?

the summer palace of don't know who haha

dinner at some wine restaurant. and this the time when they annouced that NYPWO WON THE COMPETITION!!!!

after the orchestra performance at the celebration concert. having lunch while waiting for us to go in for the Gala Winners' Concert.

during the Gala Winners' Concert (:

can you see me?

Musikverien at night (:

B-E-A-UTIFUL

at the Gala Winners' Dinner!

this is some girl i know while waiting for our turn t perform previously at the Gala Winners' Concert. heh she's a malaysian studying at an australian school!

mr tan and the organiser of the SCL festival

maynard, phileo, hongyee and me. yeahhhhh maynard is TALLLLL

one of our tour guide! his name is karl. both tour guides followed us throughout the whole trip!

next stop: Saluzburg! on our wayyyyy

scenaries on our wayyyy

at some garden which was supposingly a scene in the musical, Sound of Music

that's jonathan, jason, me and zihui

at some catholic church in saluzburg

a view outside the church

hongghee and i outside the mozart museum

we played pool at the hotel in saluzburg! oh oh oh! the hotel at saluzburg was the best out of the 3 hotels we stayed at! too bad we were only there for about 2 nights. lol

at the bus stop opposite our hotel the next morning. we were waiting for bus 4 to go to the town area to SHOP!!!

that's us on the bus!

some random dude that we bought things from at the town area.

this's the guy who did the art work!

outside saluzburg's supermart LOL

our last night at saluzburg! before that we had a performance at the catholic church mentioned previously. it was a kinda music festival to thank God for our talents.

wahhhhhhhhhhh B-E-A-UTIFUL scenary taken from our hotel window!!

on the way back to vienna to catch our flight ):

while waiting at london for all our luggages and instruments.

yeah that marks about the end of the trip. everyone's missing austria! the life there seems so great! but i guess it's partly because we knew that we will come back and suffer with tons of projects and mountains of work that's why we were all sad to leave.

but i guess, it's okay!

at least we experienced the life there! wheeeeeeeeee and best of all, we may get to go WMC next year, even for the yr 3s! go as alumnus loh! save money now! :D

we really had lots of fun although some times there are some crop ups here and there. but overall, yeah! fun!

imagine you get the chance t go to vienna while our school mates are mugging in schooool! but well of cos, aft we gave back, we kinda suffered? with all the work overloading nad overflowing over our heads lol

i freaking got freaked out by my PEM pleaseeeeeeeeee. he told my grp mates that he will be asking only ME questions during our monday presentation's Q&A session. mannnnnnnnn he said he wanted to test our grp's coordination while i was away. in the end, he only asked some of us qns -.- but, thank God for that!

okayyy, it's like late, or is it early? lol!

4.56am in the morning! i gotta slp and wake up early to do projs again!

and tri reminded me tht i've yet to post my entry on Singapore Flyer that happened before i flew to vienna lol! next time next time then post!

p.s. many other photos of the trip will be posted to my shutterfly asap! i've still got a lot of photos with other people! i took pictures with the coach drivers who made me look super duper like a hobbit between them! LOLOLOL

watch out for my shutterfly!!!

the link can be found at the right column of my blog :D

BYE.

i had great fun and i'm missing austria! i wanna go back to Saluzburg!

2008-07-16T02:15:00.006+08:00

YO!

yeah YO! wassupman!

it's been awhile and i've decided to come back to kohjolene.bs.com! whooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i kinda miss this blog (:

-------

well hell yeah, i'm back from vienna, saluzburg, and livejournal. HEH

and EDWARD! you cheated by using yahoooooo. and that was so rude. to peep into people's privacy without permission.

BYE.
next post will be about vienna, cos for now, i'm having a headache and i wanna sleeeeeeep (:

danke ; bitte ; WC!

2008-04-10T01:27:00.001+08:00

moving!

yup, i guess i'm moving away from blogger.

new, or rather the other, address is..
http://threwatantrum.livejournal.com

but once in awhile i'll still blog here, maybe?

honestly i've yet t decide t move or not. i like this blog eh HAHA

2008-04-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

horror night

an unusual wednesday i would say.

after work, it was band pract in school. as usual. but today, i didn't went out for dinner-cum-supper with min and gang. instead i went home.

cause, i was supposed t lead adam the way t the GB campsite. yes, here's the unusual part.

adam and john came t pick me up at my place at past 11.30pm. then we went down t the campsite. well, adam had no choice but t recce the place at night cause he couldn't take off from work.

my sis was telling me, be CAREFUL. it's super scary there at night and she made those ghostly sounds hahah.

so yup down t the place. it was ultra SPOOKYYYYY. like man oh my holy goodness. dark with only lights coming from the dorm's corridors and the pathetic vending machine in the middle LOL and also fr the carpark of semb park.

the bell fits totally well in a horror show man. it was like A SIREN CAN?! hahaha but interesting night i shld say. great place t stare at the stars but well.. bring your bible and chant some prayers! HAHAHA kidding

john and i had a funny conversation.
me: scarly during the camp everyone praying through the night man. (laughs)
john: ya! overnight prayer meeting! (laughsoutloud) and aft the camp, everyone will be so spiritually on fire for God man!

HAHA funnnnnnny.

-------

now that i'm part of the band committee again, things are slowly starting t come t me again, so yupp will be busy, esp when we're going for the SCL competition in Vienna. it kinda feels good that i can be part of everything again. but of course, i pray that i can handle everything, one at a time.

no stress haha all working hand in hand.(:

2008-04-09T01:27:00.003+08:00

what shld i do?

watching August Rush now. and i'm kinda glued. it's alr 1.27am in the morning eh. mannnn i gotta stop soon else i'll be late for work tmr.

gaa gaa gaaa..
actually i realised i feel happier now that i've set things clear with him. haha and much lighter with a load off my back HAHA

yes rah i'm serious.
i'm not gonna waverrrrr (:

but what does it mean by 'what shld i do?' as my post title? hahah

cause i'm starting t procrastinate about work though i know i would need the cash badly. and i wanna go shopping! mannnnn so how t scrimp and save for vienna when i need, yes i mean need, t buy some stuffff

i wanna get shoessssss. bahhhhhhhhh!

2008-04-06T21:34:00.004+08:00

stuff/shopping.

using my desktop now cause i'm lazy t on the laptop haha

mannnnnnnn, knowing that the vienna trip would still cost a bomb even after a 70% subsidy, i'm thinking twice about spending money. i totally feel the pinch just thinking of itttt.

handphone:
now, shld i just get a cheap one that's alright, or get a second-hand hp or just make do with the current one?

now that i've got my eyes on another handphone (yes i decided against 6500 cause it's trade in price is now alr as low as an E65), i can't use my plan t upgrade cause my dad used it and it's yet t be 21 months !!

my gawkkkkk. think my sis will strangle me if i ask t use her plan !
:/

seriously la, i need a new phone now. the 'on' button of my phone now is like gonna spoil sooner or later lohhh.

WHY DOESN'T SINGTEL HAVE VOUCHERS GIVEN OUT TO LOYAL CUSTOMERS LIKE THE KOH FAMILY ?! all 3 of us are holding singtel lines loh. for like 6 years and counting laaa!
:'(

man oh man.
vienna.

gonna start sourcing for more $$$$ earning sources.
any lobangs anyone?
:D

-------

eliz and sandy have alr reached orlando and to their hostel too. jiayi, belinda and cass came online. but i yet t see eliz and sandy online after they've got their rooms..

hey girls! come online soon! hope you two are doing fine, esp eliz, now that you're staying alone.

be strong my dear girls! everything's gonna be fine. rahrah and i will be praying for you two over in sg (:

xoxo,

loves

2008-04-06T01:10:00.004+08:00

missing pieces

the girls are flying in the air now.

feels so weird now, knowing that they are on their way t orlando. another 8 hours and 15mins and they will offically step into orlando.

the scene on sat morning was saddening. red eyes, tearful goodbyes.

6 months, it ain't gonna be easy. we hugged and cried, knowing that good friends are now gonna be apart. the puzzle is now incomplete.

now i don't have the mood t do anything at all, just slacking my hours away. don't even have the mood t attend cg and svc tmr
):

i'm so missing you girls now..

-edited-

i forgot that the video is private and confidential :/ so no video willl be up.

2008-04-04T20:14:00.002+08:00

goodbyes are always hard.

i'm now alr at the airport. another few more hours t go before bidding farewell t our dear friends for 6 months.

gonna miss them badly. seeing them with huge luggages, hearing about their packing.

mannnnnnnn ):

2008-04-03T18:53:00.002+08:00

leap years.

i finally watched it with sarahlim ytd. was quite a good movie (:

okayy, suddenly the urge t blog went away, so,
BYE.

2008-04-02T13:48:00.002+08:00

get a life.

crappy super crappy. and cranky now. like HELLOOOOO!

can i just get a life out of this dead weeks now?! finally i get t take time off t get tgt with my friends, you freaking ask me t go home.

totally feel like screaming. i'm wasting my life away, earning money which i can't spend. wanting things yet i can't get them.

SOMEONE FREAKING DROP ME MONEY FROM HEAVEN PLEASE !!! I FREAKING REALLY NEED THE MONEY NOW TO GET WHAT I WANT!!!

once in a lifetime chance, opportunity.
do i need t give it up? i know i won't and i wouldn't wanna give it up. but circumstances restricts my decisions and choice.

so i really do need money now.

2008-03-29T18:16:00.002+08:00

noah's ark

how t change the world?

an
Act of
Random
Kindness at a time.

whatever God has in plan for you, He does it with His love for you. one day, you will understand why God placed some people over you or in your life, why certain things happen for a reason, and all the "why"s you wanna ask God. nope you do not have t wait till you die and return home to Him, you will just know it one day (:

He has everything planned for you.

2008-03-28T00:23:00.006+08:00

oh man.

just within a span of 2 weeks, i felt so shagged and weak TWICE!

last week i fell sick, sore throat and flu. it totally felt like as if the office was an ice box. kept shivering and felt damn sleepy.

and just td, i felt so weak cause it had been a long while since i had my last EXTREMELY-PAIN-period. like what the crap !

damn it damn it. so shagged and weak.

-------

work had been alright, especially alright, aft the first week HAHA. met nice people at work. somehow the office's environment is now much younger than previously lol cause there are 4 attachment students there!

got t hang out with chin chye and yangxu aft work for the past 2 days. haha dinner and crappy stuff. going from one place t another.

the first time, it was from office t T3. looked ard, decided that there's nothing much t have for dinner there so clever me suggested IKEA. and it took us like 1/2 AN HOUR t get t IKEA from the airport la. three of us were damn hungryyyyy laaaaa. cracked stupid lame jokes on our bus rides haha

as for td, we went from office t siglap. chinchye wanted t chill at coffee club. but of cos we had t have dinner before that right? so we looked ard as usual, was gonna settle for hongkong cafe. then smart chap, yangxu, said no pretty girls! so we went t look at EVERY RESTAURANTS' GIRLS. well, okayy, almost every haha. and in the end, he can't decide where t eat, so we went down t parkway parade.

lame right? but funny guys t hang out with la HAHA i had my fill at laughing at them! LOL
:D

oh and i saw justine td at parkway parade and she said she feels weird seeing me alone without pohchoo HAHA

PC! she says we're like siamese twins la! LOL (:

-------

anw, i was damn amazed and motivated by XIAXUE aft reading her blog and finding out that her room is DAMN NEAT.

YES HEAR ME CORRECTLY,

XIAXUE'S ROOM IS DAMN NEAT.

don't believe? go read it.

so now i'm motivated t keep my room neat. but the question is, where shld i start cleaning from? hmmmmm HAHA

BYE!
gotta be on time for work man!

2008-03-19T01:07:00.003+08:00

the end of year 2.

staring at the laptop screen that's showing my results, it marks the official end of our year 2. time flies and i will definitely miss year 2 in nyp.

i believe i've typed such a post before.

year 3 is so gonna be different. with the class torn into quarters, 1/4 in orlando disneyland, and the other 3/4 still in sg, nyp.

it's definitely be a whole new experience for my clique. i do not know what willl be in store for us. i just hope it won't be too much of a roller coaster. even if it is a roller coaster, let it be a fun ride.

okayy, i'm getting a lil' bit emo over here.
adapting your school life totally once again every year ain't exactly a good experience.

from year 1 t year 2.
we had a change of class as we had t choose our preferred specialisation. well at least most of the girls in BG has at least one familiar face in their new classes.

year 2
it was an eye opener for us esp the hospi students. new classes, new faces, totally different module from the other school mates. we had t adapt t a whole new environment.

now that year 2 is over, we have t brace ourselves up for a new level.

for me, it's definitely a different year for me. no more resposibilities in the band now, and i do not think my services would come into use anymore in future. and friends going overseas either for attachment or exchange programs.

and it's very comforting t know that at least i still have sarah limgekhong with me.
(:

well, there will be more webcams, video conferences, emails and bloggings come year 3. i'll definitely miss the two girls.

ELIZ - the ever crazy girl who looks so tame hahah. the one who will laugh non-stop with me during overnight project meetings. i'm so gonna miss your laughter and growls and funny faces haha (:

SANDY - the youngest among us, yet the tallest. okay she really can laugh t herself in the middle of the night. good job san! now u can tahan long overnights alr ! lol bet it was good training esp in year 2 for your upcoming attachment in orlando! (:

i just hope that year 3 will be a better year, a blasta-la-vista year for all of us.

let our last year in school end with a bang!

2008-03-18T23:24:00.003+08:00

eventful.

our dearest lecturer and tutor, tay sock peng, is LEAVING US !
:[

guess she found a better job other than teaching and took off t a better future. good for her, at least i hope she will enjoy her next job more
(:

having her as our tutor was a great thing. she cares a lot, EXTREMELY A LOT, about our welfare. really thank her man, for her attention towards us.

although she may be blur at times, haha she does help us t check it out and give us the correct information.

i'm so gonna miss her laaaa! she's like the best tutor around school, esp during our projects and tutorials.

mannn, what a waste. but for her t stay in school, it may well bury her talents.

ALL THE BEST MS TAY!

-------

okayyy, results are coming out in another 30mins time. my heart is thumping like some mad cow, like as if i just ran 2.4km like that.

my goodness, i just hope i'm gonna do well and let my vision be accomplished!

thanks js! for your help in making me chant that 2 sentences hahhaha

God will bring me through it all.

I will do well !

yes js,
WE WILL DO WELLLLLLL !

2008-03-16T01:53:00.004+08:00

a trival quiz.

ok honestly it is computer generated, but the result can be like 75% - 80% correct! so how coincidental can it be?! so.. spooky? LOL check it out. amazing how accurate it can be.

What Koh Jolene Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

---

things are going well till now (:

2008-03-13T23:30:00.003+08:00

letting go and moving on.

i guess i've let go. but obviously i'm still not used t certain things ard. the passion that was once strong suddenly got diminished by a passing wind.

since secondary 1, the fire was sparked. now, the 7th year, i don't know what t say. things have changed. i still miss 2005, a lot a lot.

not just the passion, but even school and friends.

i don't know what got me typing all these stuff. but suddenly i just feel like closing myself up for a period of time.

maybe i'm just running away from situations.
maybe i just want a breather.
maybe, just maybe, i haven't let go of things.

many things i desire, many things i want.
but yet i hate constraints.
i love the sense of freedom.

so many things going through in my head.

i feel.. weird.
i feel.. i don't know. i don't know how t describe.
i feel.. i need someone, a support.
a support other than just God.
someone..

2008-03-11T00:54:00.004+08:00

multi-tasking

i feeeeel so fulllllll aft eating that supper aft pract :/

now i'm lazy t walk over t shower so i'm multi-tasking on my laptop lol
#1 resize and rename the photos
#2 blog
#3 watch some videos

HAHA greeeedy i know.

temp work ended, office work's starting tmr! or rather today, later. there are still some things untouched and uncompleted. mannnn, i'm so procastinative this few days.

it's like a love-hate relationship.
when there's school, you wished it was the holidays.
when there's hols, you wished there was school cause you just don't know how t spend your time.

when it's the hols, you wished you're working cause you've got no money t spend on shopping.
when there's work for you t attend t, you wished you can rot at home, watching the TV and surfing the net.

okayyyy, that's how i'm feeling right NOW! bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
:/

anw, after work's started for me, i've got the urge t shop, or rather BUY THINGS. i've even thought of a list of them! goodness!
:D

shopping list! :D
1. bags and more bagsss (some are coming in early april! :D) ok honestly, i'm kinda in short of bags. i'm using my bags over and over again, so much so that they've worn out. i'm greatly in need of new bags HAHA

2. shoes! i'm eyeing a few of them alr HAHA

3. tops & shorts

4. watches! my love! and batteries for those watches that have stopped working LOL :/

5. maybe i'll get some books aft i've finished reading a half-done and a new book i bought some time ago HAHA

6. what else? hmmms, maybe some nonsense that i would like t own. like toys? HAHA :D

p.s. anyone interested t sponsor? LOL i doubt anyone would ever reply on my tagboard, esp t this haha, my tag board's been kinda silent for quite a long time alr.

only brother sam replying t my msn conversations through my tagboard cause he's always too late t reply t me on msn HAHA

okay it's getting real late now and i'm worrying whether i can wake on time ltr in the morn. so i'm off!

BYE.

2008-03-08T03:16:00.002+08:00

conversations

i wonder whether it was good for me t overhear some stuff. it took me through a series of thought after many hours after the conversation.

people tend t say one thing and do otherwise. it's weird, seriously. cause somehow or another, you once tried t vent your anger on me just cause you wanna do what you preach.

it becomes even weirder, when you didn't realise you are protecting (or maybe destroying) your friend but yet harming a harmless soul, destroying his/her dream and desire.

it's merely a truth that everyone seeks.

help if you can, but stop if your help turns haywire.

be a dream helper, not a dream destroyer.

walk in His ways, help someone. giving is always a blessing, so is helping.

-------

my parents always ask me this question: friends more impt ah? why you keep helping them?

and i'll always give the same answer: you help someone td, they will in turn help you one day. afterall, everyone will come t a point in life where they will definitely need help. so where would that help come from? friends of cos, then? ghost ah?

somehow or another, i have, quite oftenly, complained that there are no one around t help me. and i always tell myself, no one will be there for you literally 24/7. you can only depend on yourself and God.

i don't know how t continue anymore.
i'm starting t feel weird

2008-03-08T01:29:00.003+08:00

ain't right

something just feels weird in my life now. it's like i've been wanting something for a period of time and it just suddenly disappears. weirdddddddd

i feel empty yet full at the same time.
weirddddd, seriously weirddddd.

how i wish i'm schooling now. so that i do not have t bother bout looking for a job or working. this holiday seems a lil' tad too long. but everyone, well almost everyone, is envious that i'm gonna start school 2 weeks later than them.

weird weird weird.
ok seriously i feeeeel weird. i don't know what i want! what t do this holiday, what t achieve, etc.

and my stomach feels weird now toooo.
well, seems like things ain't gonna go well for me this holiday. i need t make decisions, good decisions.

friends over work,
promises over good opportunities.

HELP !
get me out of this shit !
respondddddd !

a few days back, my sister said something that really made sense t me.

"if that's really a friend of yours, then he should let you off t achieve something better and greater instead of stopping you for his own good."

dilemma.

2008-03-06T01:36:00.002+08:00

boredom KILLS

i'm waiting for hotmail t load the file that i wanna attach t an email. it's SUPER slow! i hope it doesn't die on me. i need t get the email in asap so that i can sleep early!

what should i say?

it really set me off thinking about what i want. i realised that there are so many factors t consider! haha maybe i should say thanks t the person who made that phone call
:/

alrightalrightalright. it's not a good idea t post whatever i wanted t cause there will be invisible eyes staring into this space for all i know (although honestly, i have A HELL LOAD t say. but oh well)

time t go off t bed i guess, since hotmail finally moved the email HAHA

another day passed with lousy results at work. an interesting job but challenging. we felt kinda cheated. SO LOOKOUT! i'm dying of tiredness soooooooooooooon

BYE. when will i ever get t catch the movie?
maybe, maybe not.
suddenly it totally struck me - 5 years

2008-02-29T14:48:00.002+08:00

Do Not Judge

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."

- Matthew 7 : 1 - 2

many a times, people judge, without even thinking. they are unhappy cause a certain someone did a certain something. but have they ever thought, are they like them too?

too many such situations. i shall keep mum next time someone says that again. for he/she does not know what they are talking about.

BYE. off to coffee prince last few episodes! :D

oh! and i got a job! HAPPY :D

2008-02-27T23:24:00.003+08:00

i need good food now, and maybe a cry or two.

-------

addicted
i'm hooked onto coffee prince once again, watching it day and night and been nagged bout getting a job. it's not like as if i'm slacking my days off without even looking for a job. it's just that i'm waiting for them t call me! i've alr sent in my resumes mummy!

oh well, maybe i'll shoot my butt back t the restaurant.

okayy seriously i need a job. &&& i prefer a 9 - 5 job, so that my mind can be occupied like 24/7 and i don't have t tire my brain by thinking about useless and senseless stuff.

hmmm, maybe i can work through the opening till the closing of the restaurant hours? OK that shall be my last resort

BYE t idiotic people who thinks that gaming is more impt than friends!

2008-02-26T01:39:00.002+08:00

sushi making!
yup yup yup, we girls went down t eliz's place t make SUSHI today! :D

great time! so fun!
hahah all the preparation and yummy ingredients. rice with vinegar (the vinegar totally stinked!), grilled unagi and chicken, cucumbers, eggs, etc.

bit by bit, our sushi rolling got better! hahahha food is filling and we settled our dinner just like that!

anw i've changed my email. and i'm wondering now, shld i start adding people on msn with that email. gawk, it's so troublesomeeeeeeeee.

&&& i'm craving for a swim or two BADLY!

i'm gonna dry swim tmr a.k.a mahjong HAHA and i need a wet one sooooon
):

anyone interested? buzz me HAHA

2008-02-21T21:54:00.005+08:00

an episode of the life of a girl
there are things she wishes t explain, and there're also things that she does not wish t explain. sometimes she just wishes t be selfish, t think for herself only. just when i needed you, you disappeared.
she's changing.
she knows she's changing. i thought i could find someone else, but i'm afraid t call.
from a optimistic girl, to a pestimistic girl.
from a strongheaded girl, to a girl who's weak and does not have the strength to fight anymore, she lost her strength to argue. what should i do?

in the past, she does not resign to fate that easily. now, she lost all her willpower to fight on.

she's tired. but no one said that it will be a smooth and tireless journey. she just wants someone t depend on but no one said she's alone, she has Him.

but sometimes she hopes for someone whom she can bite, beat, smack and all. (erm she's not violent or smtg but hope you get what it literally means.)

many times she is helping people in their situations. but when she needs help from the people she's closest with, from the people she feels most comfortable with, from the people she hopes are there for her, they are all not there. she turns her head left and right, she looks for them frantically. but she can't find any. not that she doesn't have any, just that she's worried that she will spoil their mood, that she will be disturbing them.

alright, now she needs a rest.

2008-02-21T16:55:00.001+08:00

it's starting t get on my nerves
it's starting t get on my nerves
it's starting t get on my nerves
IT'S STARTING T GET ON MY NERVESSSSSSSSSSSS!

STOP IT OKAY?!

STOP IT!

2008-02-21T00:18:00.002+08:00

procastination
alright i have a job interview tmr morning and here i am, procastinating!

but oh well, where would money come from if i do not work FOR it? no gains will just drop from heaven [although i wish there are such matters HAHA!]

in some of our modules we learnt that the profile of many customers now are time poor, cash rich. well in OUR case now, it's more of TIME RICH, CASH POOOOOOR!
:[

alright alright i need money t spend! i can't possibly spend ALL of my ang baos money! man oh man, man oh man

how i wish i am studying now. crazy i know, but ya.

---

went swimming td with pc, pam and liz. now i'm back with rosy, burnt cheeks HAHA i like.

BYE.

2008-02-17T00:10:00.003+08:00

每个人都有自己的信念, 相信不同的人,事,物. 但始终, 大家都希望自己能得到尊重和喜爱.

对我来说, 就在此刻, 我已不想管那么多了. 你想怎样对待我, 就怎样对待我. 只要我知道我的所做所为没有违背自己的良心, 我就心满意足了.

you just have to remind yourself, that by reacting on what she says, you will start to be more and more like her. - timlim

thanks for the advice, especially that sentence (:

2008-02-11T02:03:00.000+08:00

我不敢要有希望,
因为有了希望,
就会有失望.

i'm tired. i want to live a life that i want. to stop caring bout others, but only myself. selfish, i know. maybe i just want t be selfish for once.

or rather no one even felt that i was being helpful and caring.

that friend that i cared a lot for, that i want t protect, where is the care and concern that i want from you? where is it when i needed it most?

she's right, i shouldn't care so much anymore.

thanks auyong, for knowing me (:
sorry, i just wanna be selfish for once, to keep things t myself.

---

i should stop hoping for something. time and again, i fell hard, i hurt myself badly.

maybe it's time t stop everything.
in recent months, i've lost the one most important and deepest desire in my heart, something that can let me shine and show my potential. i've lost it. i wanted t fight, but it's too late, all too late.

2 years ago, my heart went cold. i finally felt what real hurt feels like. from then on, i tried looking for that one thing iwanted most. till now, it's still unfound.

time and again i told myself to forget about it. but time and again i let myself be hurt again. everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything.

every single hurt just comes back like a string of memory, like a train dashing through the dark tunnel. the only difference, i've yet t find my source of light.

but i know and i know, i have my touchlight guiding me t the end, t the great prize.
thank you Lord.

thank You for storing my tears in a bottle.

2008-02-06T02:06:00.000+08:00

exams are over!

yup, finally they are over.
and the next few months of holidays will be yet another transition period for me. yes, another one. and i believe it will be as big as the previous one i experienced, which i didn't handle it quite well.

it's time for me to think through the last semester that i had, and what i want to achieve during the upcoming semester, academically.

year 3 sem 1 will be a whole new experience for my friends and i. imagine being separated for 6 months due to their overseas industry placement program, a.k.a. OIPP. we will not see each other for literally ONE YEAR! yes one year. cause when they are back in singapore for their studies, we will be out of school doing our IPP.

emotions will definitely run high during the last few days of march and beginning of april.

another thing for me to think about is about what i want, what i really really want. one issue has to be settled at least by next tues. i really have to think about it, whether it is the right decision to do so. definitely a tough one.

to give up, or to hold on, or to fight for it. i have 3 choices, 3 difficult choices.

---

i've also decided to stay strong and not to let anyone step over my head and make fun of me anymore. once, twice, it's fine. but every week? please, know your limits. no parents gave birth to their child for you to make fun of.

RESPECT people if you want them to respect you.
many times in life, i wanted something so much, and hold it so dearly. but time and again, i kind of ended up destroying it in my own hands. i didn't want to screw things up and i knew what i wanted all along, it was just a question of how and who.
time to sleep
BYE.

2008-02-01T20:09:00.000+08:00

每个帅哥都是 gay.
所以如果你想要做个帅哥, 当个 gay 吧!

LOL ok i thought of the above sentence while doing my business law exam HAHA

thank God it was fine.
sandy just got me shocked and worried before the paper. but if it wasn't for her, i guess it would be worst. i felt much more calm after she asked me to pray for her.

thanks sandy!
you are a blessing in disguise this noon!
AMEN! :D

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i miss cell group ):
i miss svc ):

nvm, another 2 more papers :DD

aja! aja!

2008-01-31T18:44:00.000+08:00

childlike faith
i know and i know,
exams are ending sooooooooon!

2 papers down, 3 more to go!
can't wait, can't wait!

shopping for cny clothes on the 5th!
yes, i haven't done my cny shopping.
LOL don't laugh, blame the school HAHA
:D

outings, sleepovers, freedom!
work, money money money rolling in!
FINANCIAL BREAKTHROUGH!
:DD

off t study again,
focus.. on my vision :D

but faith and visions are nothing without actions!
so i'm gonna act now!

BYE! :D

2008-01-28T02:55:00.000+08:00

through thick and thin, we'll stay by your side.

tricia auyong, i love you.

remember, no matter what happens,

we will stand by you.

2008-01-27T01:03:00.000+08:00

7 projects finally said good-bye to my friends and i. exams are saying hello now.

yes, this means that semester 2 is coming to a close. and YES, this means HOLIDAY'S COMING!

but this also means, the day when we separate is nearing.

hey eliz and sandy, i will miss the days we stayover for projs. tiring it may be, but it was fun. 5 of us staying close t each other, crying out loud when we are stressed over the due dates, laughing our asses off in the middle of the night when it was our usual sleeping time.

sleepless nights tgt,
3 - 4 hours of sleep.
we went through it all together, we conquered the 7 together and man, did it amaze many people.

i will miss you two.
i will miss you two bickering over small little matters like a couple HAHA

i will miss eliz's laughter at every small little thing.
i will miss sandy's lame jokes that she ever tried so hard at.

thank you for bringing laughter into my life admist those boring projects. you girls, all 4 of you, made my project days come to live with colours (:

the days ahead may be tough without each other, but we will stay strong and emerge as winners (:

LOVE (:

2008-01-20T22:25:00.000+08:00

你根本就是没有心来问候我, 来了解我的情况. 说到一半就转移话题. 算了, 反正事情已发生了. 我无话可说.

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不同事情不断地发生. 伤心的事一再一再的发生. 哭也哭够了, 终该让我的眼睛休息. 但不知道为什么, 眼泪还情不自禁地流下来.

2008-01-17T01:03:00.000+08:00

confessions
a desire that's not yet fulfilled but already filled with regrets.

no i won't bow down to failure till the very last day when things are spilled out.

i was torn between 2 decisions. i had a choice, but both choices are impt to me. if i said yes to either or, my other side would fall.

now i don't know how everything will end up. it's my last chance and.. i just pray for the better. whatever the result is, it will be tough. to say yes or to say bye.

i'm just praying for the best.
just praying for no more regrets.
just praying that i can make up everything that i have regretted.

Lord, You said so strongly to me that day last year. i told myself no matter what, i wanna go there. but Lord, i lost half of the battle. both results will be hard, will be difficult. it is not going to be easy. my desire is still gonig strong, Your words are still kept hard in my mind. that very scene and words are still vivid in my mind. i felt so sure, so sure than ever before. i knew where i was heading, i knew what i had to do. but Lord, i made a wrong move. one wrong move may cause everything to fall. i pray that Lord, You will bring me through this, and bring me to where i should be. i pray that i haven't failed this test of faith, that i will not fail to fulfill my desire, my calling. i was so sure, so sure. and Lord, i still want to be very sure. Lord, this is my prayer, this are my shouts of desire. bring me through this Lord, let it be fulfilled. Amen.